Alextommo’s Weblog

Who would have thought. Those Old Age Pig Fornicaters found more ways to piss me off. Close to the limit where I hit them round what’s left of their face with a bowling ball.

1. Them: (Hands over one item) … How much, darling?

Me: However much it said on the bleeding ticket, you dolt.

Have they seriously just forgotten how much the item they picked up 20 seconds ago costs?

2. Them: (Failing to open a plastic bag) Oh these bloody bags! *Makes some remark about the plastic bags* … *Starts laughing*

Me: …

Them: Oh cheer up, love.

Me: What makes you think I’m upset? The fact that I didn’t laugh at your pathetic joke that I’ve heard before several thousand times?… Seriously.

3. Me: That’s £4.50 then.

Them: …

Me: …

Them: …?

For fuck’s sake! If you didn’t hear me don’t look at me like I’ve just given birth to a Turtle, say “pardon?” or something.

4. An old man who is barely struggling to walk and is having a hard time looking up at me… Yes, up! He is standing up, I am sitting down. He is that hunched he actually needs to look up at me. My height has nothing to do with it either. Seems really tired and out of breath as well.

Me: Okay… Put your tongue away please… You don’t need to do that.

5. As I’m about to take my break. I put a “Closed.” sign up… Otherwise I’d never get off. Some lady comes up and says “Are you closing?”

No-fucking-shit! Of course I’m closing… See the big sign that says “Closed”? See me standing up, walking away whilst giving you the finger?

Some people fail to acknowledge the sign even more by putting their stuff on the til.

So I get up, ignoring what they’ve done and go away.

Them: Where are you going?

Me: Sdfu and read the sign.

6. Me: 66!

Them: Only just. *Laughs*

Me: … ¦: |

(If you don’t know what 66 is scroll down “I hate old people!”)